Waiting...

No one likes to wait. I hate waiting. I recently took my daughter to the doctor, and we had to wait for over an hour. Apparently, she hates to wait too. I hate slow drivers. I hate slow computers. I hate waiting in lines. I hate waiting for the mail. I want answers now. I want to know what is going to happen tomorrow now. I want an Oompa-Lumpa now. I want all of those character traits that you only acquire through time, trial, and experience, but I want them now. I want all the things that take years to get, without all those years.

Recently, however, I have become quite accustomed to waiting. I am even learning, quite reluctantly, the beauty of patience and resting in God. I recently lost my job (I don't think the world is quite ready for that blog yet!), and the process of finding another one has taken a bit longer than I expected. Granted, I admit that I unrealistically believed I could find another job in two weeks, but my current job search with one company in particular has been extremely grueling and exhausting. The whole process began nearly six weeks ago, and has included a phone interview with an outside recruiter, a phone interview with the company recruiter, an interview with a district manager, and a field interview (that lasted 12 hours) with the district manager and three reps. And the thing is, I'm finding out that this is the norm. Another company that I am interviewing with has the same process but adds two personality test/interviews.

You may wonder where I am going with all of this. Well, the past few weeks have been unusually taxing. I feel like I am caught at a railroad crossing with the gates down and the lights flashing and the bells ringing, but the train went by 15 minutes ago. As I was driving yesterday, I noticed a church sign which stated that the upcoming message would be taken from Psalm 130. Unfortunately, I only have up to Psalm 126 memorized, so I had to look this one up. As I sat down this morning to read this Psalm, I was feeling especially anxious, especially down, and altogether frustrated. I was supposed to find out more about the position and my status two weeks ago. Then last week I was told we would know something by Friday. Then Monday. And now, it was Thursday and I knew nothing more than I did some three weeks ago. With tears in my eyes, I begged God to give me something. To let me find out something. I honestly could not take another day of not knowing, of waiting. I began to read:

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Needless to say, tears again filled my eyes as I began to pray. "God, I will wait for you. My hope is in You."

And then the phone rang.